Depression is the feeling of complete emptiness; it drains your energy like a black hole. That is what I felt early this morning, the feeling of being empty and alone. I don’t know what is going on really, but I have a feeling that this is rooted to feelings of sadness that are being repressed.
Since I was young, I’m not really the type who shares problems. Usually I endure it until it’s gone. That is why maybe; right now… it is slowly going up to the surface of my consciousness and hunting me down like a ghost from the past that seeks justice.
I’m totally aware that these feelings will rise up sooner or later. But I just can’t believe that it’s happening right now. Maybe there is an event in my life at the present that triggered these repressed emotions. And I have a pretty good idea what triggered it. I know it’s not really a big deal for others but for some, it is already very critical and can destroy their borderline between reality and fantasy.
It’s really hard to endure repressed emotions, especially when you are suffering at the present. Though you may not feel the emptiness every minute but once you are alone, it comes back. It is slowly killing you as a person, the happiness and joy that you feel is slowly taken away by the sadness that enters your consciousness.
But we always have a choice. It’s up to us if we remain in the darkness or fight in order to see the light. I choose to fight! I want to see the light again. I’m totally aware that it will take time, since I am still in the process of healing but I know someday, I will rise again. From the ashes, I will rise like a phoenix and I will grow stronger.
The feeling of emptiness makes you feel very weak and lonely. It weakens not just your heart but also your taste of life.
But being weak is not really that bad because I think sometimes you have to allow yourself to be weak in order for you to grow stronger.
To be and to last.. and Rise like a Phoenix!
Nice write, son! I can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteThank you boyles! =)
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